No item appeared after the battle, which I guess makes sense because I caught it. Basically right after this, I find a Smeargle, and then get interrupted and have to go leave to do something for about 20 minutes, because it's basically impossible for me to play this game uninterrupted. After coming back, I failed to remember that the Smeargle outsped me and therefore missed with Sketch (since it had happened 20 minutes ago), so it had no moves left. I got it down to the red with one hit, then it killed itself with Struggle, and I leveled up from the fight because of course I did. I think this might have actually been the first wild Pokemon I KOed since the few I fought with Crazy Bus immediately after catching her, and there's a good reason for that - I level up way too quickly. This has been brought up before, and I'm sure it's going to be brought up again, because it really is kind of an issue.
So after finding another Smeargle and actually catching it, I find a trainer named Krystal who, unfortunately, does not have an Alolan Vulpix, but rather a Gastly. There's also a Cemetery nearby her, which might be the first optional area I've come across. The Cemetery's pretty small and basic, but it provides early access to some ghost Pokemon, including Drifloon, so that's always nice. There's also a dude in a Hawaiian shirt that I could have sworn had patterns that look like the Smogon Fakemon "Krillowatt", but it was actually Meganium. Couldn't really tell. But anyway, I catch a Gastly, Drifloon, and Zubat (Misdreavus also appears here, but only at night), fight the few trainers that are there, and then leave.
Since there was a person back at the Hau'oli Pokemon Center that wanted to see a Drifloon, I go talk to her again and get the following excellent dialogue: "Oh... Oh, no. This won’t work. It’s cute, sure, but it’s a ghost or something... And they say it takes children off with it... I’m not interested in children. No thanks!" She then proceeds to give me 10,000 Pokedollars for some reason. I think the quote kind of speaks for itself here, I don't know if there's anything I can really add to that. I will mention that Drifloon's Pokedex entry in this game says that "if its body bursts, its soul escapes with a screaming sound", which is pretty messed up.
So back to Route 2, I'm basically trying to avoid progress as much as possible, and come across a house where there was apparently some kind of child prodigy trainer who ran out on their family, and have to wonder if this is going to ever come back. There's also a motel where some really depressed dude gives me some Nest Balls. Since there's nowhere else to go, I head up the route a bit expecting to see Kukui or Lillie, and instead there's ... a Delibird. Huh. It grabs my bag and drags me over to the Berry Fields, but only in the sense that it won't let me go anywhere else. It doesn't actually take me to the new area. If they're going to force you to go places, I feel like they should go all-out with it and actually have the Delibird take your bag away or something.
In the Berry Fields, the ever-excellent Team Skull is back, busting out a line that I'm sure will be remembered for generations to come: "Let’s get Figy with it! Watch while I Nanab me some Berries!"
Remember when Team Galactic was stealing honey so they could attract Pokemon in great quantities or some stupid crap like that? I think this is actually a step below that. And again, I will acknowledge the fact that Team Skull is intentionally terrible, and that that's the entire joke, but it's still kinda sad.
So I beat up the Grunt (who I think had a single Zubat) and the owner of the Berry Fields, despite the fact that he wouldn't give a single Berry to the Team Skull dudes (I don't really blame him, though), is perfectly content giving me a free Berry, and also lets me steal a crapton right next to him. Actually, he even goes so far to mention that they're incredibly common and not all that valuable, so that just goes to show the crappiness that is Team Skull. Also, should I keep capitalizing Berry? I feel stupid doing so, but item names usually are, so whatever.
So going back to the main route, I come across some more grass and stuff, when suddenly I get a phone call. I neglected to mention this in the previous segments, but Justin (one of my brothers, as you probably know if you're reading this) has been calling me every day since Sun/Moon came out, and I've refused to pick up because I know he's just going to keep talking about the game despite not having it yet, and it's just one more distraction from me actually playing it. But because I know ignoring the problem won't go away, I pick up. After starting the conversation with "I spent the past 30 minutes throwing up" ... don't ask ... the first question is "so did you beat the game yet?" I was tempted to hang up right there. But no, I tried to put up with it for a while, and eventually managed to worm my way out of the conversation. During this time I caught a Cutiefly, Spearow, Growlithe, and notably did not catch a Crabrawler.
That's something I need to bring up - Crabrawler apparently only shows up randomly when you check Berry piles underneath trees. I'm not sure what the chances of finding it are, but there's only two piles available in this section of the game, and I didn't get it in either. This is annoying because I did want to add one to my team, but I'll get to that later.
A bit further down the route, Hau shows up, mentions that we need to go to the "PMC", which is a really weird abbreviation for a Pokemon Center, and then has some weird lagging issues before we go inside. Not sure what that was all about, and I really can't describe it that well either. There were just these weird pauses before and after the text. Inside, I show Cutiefly to someone who pays to see it, much like the Drifloon person from earlier, and I also buy some Tapu Cocoa for no reason beyond its amazing name.
It's at this point that I'm met with a bit of a problem. The only place left to go is Verdant Cavern, which houses the first trial. I know perfectly well that it's not going to be very hard, but I have a thing about getting all my intended team members before starting a gym (or in this case, the equivalent of one). Since Crabrawler didn't show up, I was debating for a while if I should just wait until after midnight so I can check the two Berry piles again. After wasting a decent amount of time in Festival Plaza (the details of which I'll spare you, though I will mention that I'm at least somewhat starting to understand how it works), I eventually decide to screw it and just head inside.
Verdant Cavern is actually quite pretty-looking. I kinda hope more areas in the game have similar aesthetics, because this is much nicer than the typical brown or gray genericness that other caves usually have. The trial here involves battling three wild Pokemon and then fighting the Totem Pokemon at the end. Pretty simple, and I can't say it worries me too much. So I check out a little hole in the wall, get greeted with a cry of "Saaar-eeee!", and then a Rattata attacks. I guess it just wanted to apologize for being a subpar Pokemon or something, I dunno.
Crazy Bus one-shots the Rattata with Bug Bite. I head over to a different section of the cavern, get attacked by another Rattata (without really initiating the fight), and it gets one-shotted as well. So far this is providing even less of a challenge than I expected. However, the game actually introduces a bit of a funky puzzle here. The last Pokemon (presumably another Rattata) moves between three different holes, and whenever I see it moving into one of them, checking that one makes it move somewhere else. So I try messing around a bit with checking the holes in a different order, trying to catch it off-guard or whatever, and nothing works. I'm at the point where I can't decide if I'm just stupid, or if this is a genuinely clever puzzle. And then Team Skull shows up because the game determined that I wasted enough time. Ok, so much for that, then.
There's a bit of a funny moment with them here, actually. After they start talking, one of my possible responses is "sorry, who are you?", and saying this causes the two grunts to just kind of awkwardly shuffle around and then say "Just 'cause we switched places, you can't tell us apart anymore?!". It made me laugh, at least. So I battle one of them, his Pokemon (I think a Slowpoke) dies in one hit to Bug Bite again, and then ... I'm not really sure what. They just kind of hang out at two of the holes so that the Pokemon can pop out of the third one without any other escapes. It's not made clear at all why they're doing this, because it certainly wasn't to help me out. I think they might have been trying to catch it themselves, but the dialogue didn't explain it very well if that was the case.
Before checking out the last hole, I notice some kind of beardm'n blocking an exit. He says that he's basically there to provide help to the people doing the Trial, but does nothing of the sort. Not really sure what he was there for. Anyway, the last Pokemon comes out, it's a Raticate this time, and - you guessed it - I one-shot it with Bug Bite. Since Crazy Bus is my only non-traded Pokemon, I was using it here mainly because it was slightly behind in level and didn't actually get enough experience to level up after every single battle, unlike the rest of the team. Beating this Raticate causes Beardm'n to move away, and with that, his relevance is completely gone.
After exiting the cave, I find myself in a valley of sorts, with some kind of shrine in the center. It holds the Z-Crystal that I've been looking for, but - BIG SHOCK - the Totem Pokemon that was already said to be here, is actually here! And it's another Raticate, because screw diversity! Now I had actually heard that this battle was somewhat challenging, and I wanted to make sure that I didn't just sweep it with Bug Bite like everything else, so I started the battle with El Grapadura instead. Raticate called in another Rattata for support, and the two of them used Tail Whip approximately 27 times as I used Ember and managed to burn it. Deciding that having a severely lowered Defense stat isn't the best thing, I switched to Fellana and finished both Pokemon off with her. Both of them leveled up in the process, and ended up learning Razor Leaf and Fire Fang, which is an appreciated-but-not-really-needed power boost.
And with that, the trial's over! Ilima shows up to present me with the Normalium Z, and does the required ridiculous pose that goes along with it. Do you mind doing that pose again, I wasn't really taking notes the first time. He also mentions that now that the trial is over, I'm free to catch stuff in the Cavern. Seeing as how it only contained Rattata before, I'm not exactly thrilled to hear this news, but apparently Diglett is in there, so I nabbed one of them. I've gotta point out how stupid Alolan Diglett is, by the way. Some of the Alolan forms are basically just palette swaps, but this one is literally just a Diglett with three stands of hair on its head, and this somehow makes it a Steel type. I know about the whole Pele's Hair thing (you can look that up if you don't know what I mean), but if anything, that should make it a Fire type, I feel.
Once I left the cave, the best explanation for roadblocks I've ever seen occurs. Ilima explains that the random barrier blocking off Route 3 is there because there's dangerous Pokemon beyond it, and now that I've proven myself with this trial, I'll be able to get past the barrier. So Beardm'n shows up again, touches the barrier, and the screen just kind of fades to white and it disappears. Now, you could say that he just dragged it out of the way, but I like to think that this barrier exists in such a way that it recognizes people with a Z-Crystal and kind of moves itself out of the way when someone qualified to pass it comes by. Beardm'n's role in this was just to enter the information into it so that it knows I'm authorized or something. Afterwards, Professor Kukui shows up for yet another tutorial, because there's no way I'd ever figure out how to use Z-moves on my own. I didn't actually pay enough attention to notice if Kukui did the Z-move pose though, because if he did, then that brings the total of animations for him up to four.
Now with this new area available to me, you'd think that maybe, just maybe, the game could let me go there on my own without being given a reason first, but no. Apparently Lillie has gone missing on the route somewhere, and RotomDex helpfully points out that "it's not very big, but it's pretty bare", which just raises further questions as far as I'm concerned. That sounds like the exact opposite of a place where you could get lost. So at this point I'm just trying to spite the game wherever possible and decide to not go to Route 3 at all. Instead, I'm heading all the way back to Route 1 to encounter a male Ledyba, since I hadn't registered one in the Pokedex yet. But while there, I notice that the random roadblock on this side of Route 3 is also missing, which honestly kind of astonished me. That means they're actually allowing me to do stuff slightly out of order! My god, the possibilities are endless!
After entering the route, I notice another pile of Berries beyond a grass patch, and since it's slightly before midnight, I figure it would be good to check them ASAP, so that I can check it again after the game rolls over to the next day and respawns the Berries. But to my surprise, that turned out to not be necessary at all, because I actually found a Crabrawler on my first try here! After a short battle where I weaken and paralyze it with El Grapadura's Lick, I catch it in a Premier Ball, and my new team member has been acquired. This Crabrawler is male (which I was hoping for), and after a bit of going back and forth between name ideas, I go with Malone. Not for any real reason, mind you, it's just a funny name that I haven't used for a Pokemon yet. It came to mind because Joel recommended the name "Frank Stallone", which I found oddly fitting even though it was the other, more well-known brother who played Rocky. Anything involving the "where the hell is Frank Stallone" joke from Spoony's review of "Night Claws" is always good in my book, and it's actually slightly appropriate given what Crabrawler evolves into. But Malone it is. He has the Jolly nature (which is pretty good for it) and "Scatters things often". I teach him the Work Up and Brick Break TMs immediately (the latter of which was found in the Verdant Cavern), and with that, I'm gonna call it a segment. Next time we'll check out more of this area and see how Malone does in battle.
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